Wedding Costs: Who pays for what?

In as few words as possible? Anyone who is willing and has the ability to. And with that said, it may be you, as a couple, that best fits that definition.

Gone are the days that the bride’s family is expected to pay for the wedding and the groom’s parents pay only for the rehearsal dinner. Now, if you have parents that are willing and able to do that and still make all your Pinterest dreams come true then that’s fabulous! But that’s not set in stone.

Rewind to over 30 years ago when I got engaged. Both my husband and I knew our parents couldn’t afford the wedding we hoped to have…and thank goodness that Pinterest didn’t exist back then or my budget would have definitely been blown! But we knew it would be up to us to make it happen and we did it, despite student loans and the other things we gave up to make it happen. It’s something we’re still very proud to say we did, but now that I have kids? I want to share in the excitement and be a part of that financial support because we have the ability.

You may also come from a culture that the finances of the wedding are shared amongst various family members. Take for example a latin wedding where padrinos and madrinas are honored to be asked to be a part of the day. Family members come forward and offer support for a portion of the wedding expenses. That may be to pay for the cake, or the cover the cost of the photographer. And other roles are more symbolic during the wedding ceremony like presenting a lasso, or symbolic gold coins.

But if I can encourage you to do one thing before you decide who pays for what: get a realistic idea of what wedding vendors, venues, and all the extras in between that our Pinterest boards are filled with, and determine what your dream wedding really costs. Once you have that number, and it might be $10k or $100k, then you can decide WHO has the willingness and ability to pay for it.

Maybe mom and dad can only afford a portion of it; do the details, the venue location, and all that goes into the wedding matter enough for you and your fiance to cover the difference? Does your fiance’s family have the willingness and ability to help? Let them. It will make them feel included.

I know, I know. You’ve read all the way through and I didn’t tell you who pays for what, but I’m hoping by now you realize that by today’s wedding standards, your dream wedding is paid for by you and the ones who love you if, whaatt??…if they’re willing and able to. Don’t be that couple that just expects someone else to cover the bill because it was a tradition back in the days of covered wagons. You’re the modern couple. You’re doing the wedding that you decided suited your budget.



Delia & Maddison

Unveiled Wedding Co.

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